Book of the Week: The Achievement Habit

07 May 2016

I was listening to the Stanford Entrepreneurial Thought Leaders podcast and they had on this old fart that I really liked. Turns out he wrote a book, so this week I read The Achievement Habit by Bernard Roth, d.school founder and mechanical engineering professor. This book contains things that Roth has learned throughout his years of teaching. It complements everything I know about and have read very nicely. I really liked the book. Enough to make it worth owning. The book has “your turn” exercises, which are probably modeled after exercises he does in his classes. I advise you to do them. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR8LQTfLvfw&w;=560&h;=315] After reading this book and The No Asshole Rule, it seems that if you’re a professor for a long time, you eventually will make someone cry.

I’ve been a professor of engineering at Stanford for fifty-two years, and along the way I’ve met too many engineers who once dreamed of starting a company of their own—and instead ended up working for large Silicon Valley companies and never taking that big step toward making their dreams a reality. Only a small percentage ever followed through on what they really wanted to do with their lives, and I hoped to do something to change that.

I’m one of those engineers in Bernie’s class. I want to change. Meaning

Nothing is what you think it is. You give everything its meaning.

One exercise that Roth has you do is say that “_____ has no meaning”. That blank could be your parents, your children, your spouse, your job, your life, etc. The point of the exercise is to realize that you are the one that gives these things meaning. It is something you are in control of and choose to do. Then Roth goes into some deep shit with questions like

• Who am I?
• What do I want?
• What is my purpose?

The exercise is to keep repeating this questions and trying to answer them. You need to find the meaning of your life. This should relax you and make you feel alive. You can’t achieve anything if you don’t know what you want. Reasons are Bullshit

Reasons are bullshit. I know it sounds harsh, however, it’s a good categorial stand to take, as you’ll see. Reasons exist because if people didn’t explain their behavior, they would seem unreasonable.

Every time you give a reason for something, it is a bullshit excuse. It means whatever you gave a bullshit reason for is not a priority in your life. You could have arrived on time by leaving earlier to allow more time, but you chose not to, because the meeting isn’t important to you. Actions speak louder than words. It is not what people say, it is what they do that counts. When things are a priority for people, they will make the time. The problem with bullshit reasons is that you can’t call other people out on it. You won’t have any friends left. The only thing you can do is fix yourself. Don’t let yourself give bullshit reasons. Don’t give a reason unless you have to. I hate bullshit. Buridan’s Ass

… based on an old fable about a donkey that dies, because it cannot make a rational choice between two equally appealing alternatives—eat hay or drink water.

Some people are paralyzed by making decisions, but it doesn’t matter in the end, since you die either way. If the decision is hard, then the two are equal, so it doesn’t matter which one you take. Don’t be an ass. Getting Unstuck

When thinking about how to achieve your dream, don’t simply charge ahead. Pause and think about what the problem really is. Go to a higher level and consider what else might be at the heart of the problem. Now reframe it. Change your point of view. Then change it again and see where you are. The real problem will reveal itself to you.

People often get stuck, because they are trying to solve the wrong problem. They are asking the wrong questions. You need to keep trying to get at what the true problem is. If you can reframe how you think about things, you can make progress. An exercise that Roth uses is to ask, “What would it do for me if I solved this problem?” It keeps going down a chain of thought until you get to the real problem. Here are 22 ways to get unstuck. [caption id=”attachment_4938” align=”aligncenter” width=”660”] Rolfe Faste (http://thinkingofdesign.blogspot.com/2014/07/fastes-review-of-creative-strategies.html)[/caption] Doing

As we’ve established, there is a big difference between trying to do something and actually doing it. Doing takes intention and attention.

People go about trying and doing differently. It goes back to Yoda saying, “Do or do not, there is no try”. Doing is like being a cockroach that doesn’t die. When you decide to do something, you do whatever it takes to obtain your objective. When you try something, you give it an attempt or two. You can try to learn a music instrument or you can learn how to play a musical instrument. These are two very different statements. If you what to achieve, you need to be doing. Failure

Looking at your current life, what would you do differently if you were not afraid of failing or looking bad?

If you try to do something, you will fail along the way. That shouldn’t deter you though. You can’t have great success without great failures along the way. You hear about the overnight unicorn startup, but you don’t hear about the few years before when they were struggling video game company. Love and Marriage

The problem is that people often confuse love with marriage. Falling in love is heavily reliant on projection, while a sound marriage is relatively projection free.

People fall in love with qualities that they wish they had, but a successful marriage is when both people are happy with who they are and by being who they are, add to each other’s enjoyment of each other. Also whatever reasons you give for love is bullshit too. Language

The best communicator isn’t necessarily the person who knows the fanciest words; it’s the person who pays attention and makes others know they’ve been heard.

Language and how people use language is very powerful. One example of this is when people use “but”, they really mean “and”. But is just a setup for another bullshit excuse. Another example is people using “have to” when they mean “want to”.

It is easy to avoid having conversations that deeply go into your feelings and tough issues. Ironically, avoiding hard conversations usually makes things worse, not better.

Group Habits

Working well in a team requires you to be flexible and tolerant. Changing the physical surroundings and doing group exercises can help the team be more cohesive and effective at problem solving.

If you want to know more about how physical space affects how people work, I recommend reading make space, which describes how they created collaborative spaces in d.school.

It is ironic that we hide aspects of ourselves because we fear rejection. It is the hiding, not the revealing, that leads to rejection.

Who am I?

We need to realize that other people are not concerned about our hairstyle or what we are wearing; they are too busy worrying about themselves to much notice of us. People are mainly preoccupied with their own careers and problems, not yours. In spite of this, may of use believe we are the principal cause of other people’s actions.

Nobody gives a fuck who you are. Nobody is thinking about you. This is advice that Heidi Rozen also gives in her 20-40-60 Rule. Just do. Purchase The Achievement Habit on Amazon.com or check it out from your local library.