Book of the Week: Succeed

03 Oct 2015

Succeed is about how people can reach their goals. The book goes over goals in the context of relationships, parenting, business, health and sports. It breaks down different aspects of goals to compare and contrast them. But the answer to which direction you should lean to is unclear, because it always depends on the situation. This isn’t that helpful if you’re looking for some rule of thumb to follow. The book has bits and pieces, but other books have gone more in depth into each topic. I think this book is probably more accessible if you want to dip your toes into goals and happiness. If you want to be effective, you need to set specific difficult, but realistic goals. Effort versus Talent

I believed in something psychologist called the inverse effort rule—if you have to work hard at something, you aren’t good at it. Effort compensates for lack of ability.

When you believe that you’re talented, then you blame external factors and don’t focus on getting better. Jerry Rice wasn’t the greatest of all time, because he was talented. He had an amazing work ethic that allowed him to stay conditioned throughout his long career. Effort vs talent also goes back to how you should praise your kids. Never praise them for being smart. You should praise them for working hard. If you praise them for being smart, they’ll lose interest when things become hard for them, because struggling at something doesn’t show how smart they are. Performance vs Mastery Performance goals are the driven by the desire to be good. The opportunity to perform well and demonstrate ability may be motivating, but doesn’t help when things get tougher. These goals relate to your self-worth, because it provides a validation of your talent. Mastery goals are driven by the desire to get better. People with mastery goals are less likely to blame their problems on lack of ability. The best type of goals to have depend on the situation. If something is easy, then performance goals will lead to better outcomes. If it is hard, then you need to focus on growing with mastery goals. Promotion vs Prevention Promotion goals are for gains and prevent goals are for avoiding loss. Prevention goals are good for detail-oriented tasks, while promotion goals are good for speed. Goals and Happiness

According to Deci and Ryan, all human seek relatedness, competence, and autonomy.

Relatedness is our need for social connections. Competence is about being able to do what you want to do. Autonomy is about having the freedom to make decisions. The first two are pretty self explanatory, but I want to talk a bit more about autonomy. You can kill a kid’s motivation for reading by assigning them to read for 30 minutes. It becomes a chore since it wasn’t their choice to read. This is where removing autonomy hurts. Adding autonomy can also make outcomes better. By giving old people a plant to take care of and giving them more choices, studies have shown prolonged life and increased happiness. If choice does not exist, you can construct things such that there is a feeling of choice. Letting kids chose their avatars made them more engaged in educational apps. Visualization Don’t visualize success, visualize the steps to get there. It’s like visualizing the turns in a race instead of visualizing standing on the podium. Goals require steps to achieve. Feedback When giving feedback, you should be truthful, specific and sincere. You need to praise behaviors that lead to outcome and avoid comparison to others. Purchase Succeed on Amazon.com or check it out from your local library.