Book of the Week: Essentialism
07 Jan 2015
Essentialism is about doing less, but better. The book talks about why less is better, the differences between essentialist and non-essentialist and how to achieve essentialism. In order to do less, better, you need to be able to know how to say no. This goes back to saying no (Saying No, Saying No, Part II). Being able to say no is a very important skill to have. Success Leading to Failure
Curiously, and overstating the point in order to make it, the pursuit of success can be a catalyst for failure. Put another way, success can distract us from focusing on the essential things that produce success in the first place.
Overachievers and companies eventually do so well, that they fail. When you become good at something, you become the go to person. Eventually you take on more and more stuff until you can do none of them well. Then you fail. 8 Ways of Saying No
Non-essentialist say yes because of feelings of social awkwardness and pressure. They say yes automatically, without thinking, often in pursuit of the rush one gets from having pleased someone. Make your peace with the fact that saying “no” often requires trading popularity for respect. Remember that a clear “no” can be more graceful than a vague or noncommittal “yes”
Here are some ways to say no.
- awkward pause - when a request comes, just pause.
- soft “no”, the “no but” - helps you build up to saying a real no.
- “Let me check my calendar and get back to you”
- email bounce-backs - not just for vacation anymore
- “Yes, what should I deprioritize” This is what you use on your manager.
- humor
- “You are welcome to X. I am willing to Y.”
- “I can’t do it, but X might be interested” - defer
Courage
Without courage, the disciplined pursuit of less is just lip service.
Courage helps to say no. There are many ways of saying no, but you need the courage to say no. Fear of Missing Out
We’ve seen ample evidence in this chapter suggesting that the majority of us are naturally very loss-averse. As a result, one of the obstacles to uncommitting ourselves from a present course is the fear of missing on on something great.
Sometimes people don’t say no, because they fear that they miss out on something. But by not saying no, they are missing out on the things that matter. You can be there physically, but not present mentally. I’ve had friends tell me that they didn’t want to hang out with me unless I was going to be present there mentally. You need to take care of the things that matter and have meaning in your life. If you want a life that has meaning, you need to start saying no now.